In this article
Before you start
This page is one question in the behavioral interview guide; the general method for any question is in how to answer interview questions.
Why interviewers ask this
A vague answer to the interpersonal communication question costs you the point, because almost every job is done with other people and the interview has few other ways to show it. Candidates report the question in several wordings: describe your interpersonal skills, how do you communicate with a team, or tell me about a miscommunication.
The National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE) names communication and teamwork among the eight competencies in its career readiness framework, so the skill is a named part of how employers define readiness for work.
A weak answer claims the trait: "I'm a people person." A strong answer shows one moment: who the other person was, what you heard, what you changed and how you knew it worked. A Staff-level answer adds what broke the first time and what you now do differently, because that is the part nobody can fake with an adjective.
Interpersonal communication from first principles
- Interpersonal communication
- Interpersonal communication is the exchange of messages between two or more people whose lives are interdependent and who influence one another, so that each side can change what it says next in answer to the other. The messages can be spoken, nonverbal or written.
- Active listening
- Active listening is a way of listening in which the listener works out what the speaker means and shows it, by restating the point or asking a question, before replying with a view of their own, so the speaker can correct a misunderstanding while it is still cheap to fix.
- Check for understanding
- A check for understanding is a short question or request that lets the other person show they received the message you meant, such as asking them to say the plan back in their own words, used after an explanation instead of assuming it got through.
In plain words
Interpersonal communication is a conversation in which both people keep adjusting. Picture two people carrying a sofa up a staircase. Each calls out where the corner is. Each reacts to the other's call. Neither can shout a plan and walk away.
The analogy breaks in one place. A sofa never misreads what you say, and people do. So you cannot assume a message arrived. You have to check. That is why an interview answer about communication works best when it shows the checking, not only the talking.
In one precise sentence, interpersonal communication is a loop of sending a message, reading the reaction and adjusting the next message. An interview answer shows that loop in four steps.
What are the types and elements of interpersonal communication?
Interpersonal communication is described through three kinds of parts: the topics a textbook covers, the elements of a model, and the loop between them. The book Exploring Communication in the Real World treats verbal communication, nonverbal communication and listening as chapter topics, and written messages are a fourth channel in everyday work.
The models come from §1.2, The Communication Process: the transmission model names a sender, a message, a channel, a receiver and noise; the interaction model adds feedback and context; the transactional model treats both people as sending and receiving at the same time, which is the loop this page describes.
These parts map to the steps below. Nonverbal reactions and listening are Step 2, wording and channel are Step 3, and feedback is Step 4.
Step 1: Pick one moment where the first message did not get through
The best interview example is a moment where your first message missed, because the repair is what shows the skill. You start from your own work history and end with one situation that has a named role on the other side, such as a teammate on another team, a manager or a customer.
Choose a moment small enough to tell in two or three sentences and real enough to have stakes: a handoff, a disagreement about priorities, or a request that kept coming back. Avoid a story in which everyone agreed at once, because it proves nothing about how you handle a gap.
Name the gap in one sentence: what you meant, and what the other person understood. This is the rubric line from the lead. A weaker story has no miss in it; a Staff-level story starts with one. These four steps fit inside STAR: the moment and its gap are the Situation and Task, listening and adapting are the Action, and the check is the Result.
Step 2: Show what you heard
Active listening shows in an answer as a specific thing you noticed. You start from the other person's reaction and end with a diagnosis of why the message missed.
Say what you saw or asked, such as the question they repeated, the point they skipped, or the silence after your explanation. Then state the diagnosis in one sentence: they were stuck on this, not on that. If you restated their point to confirm it, say so, because restating is the visible half of active listening.
A candidate who says "I listened carefully" has claimed the skill. A candidate who says what the other person was stuck on has shown it. You now know why the message missed, and that decides what to change.
Step 3: Show how you changed the message
Adapting a message means changing its content, order, detail or channel to fit one person. You start from the diagnosis in Step 2 and end with a second version of your message.
Content: cut what they did not need. Order: lead with the point they care about, often the impact or the decision. Detail: a technical peer wants the constraint, a busy manager wants the decision and the date. Channel: a long written thread may work better as a short call with one diagram, or the reverse.
Say which of the four you changed and why. Repeating the same words more slowly, or longer, is not adapting. The second version is the part that shows the skill, so give it the most room.
Step 4: Show the check and the result
A check for understanding is how you know the message got through, and the result is what changed because it did. You start from the second version of your message and end with a confirmed outcome.
This page's advice is to ask the other person to say the plan back rather than ask whether it is clear, because "is that clear?" invites a polite yes. State the result in one sentence, with a number only if it is real, and end with what you do differently now.
A check works best when the other person feels safe saying "I did not follow." Edmondson (1999) defines team psychological safety as a shared belief that the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking.
The answer has four parts: a moment where the first message missed, what you heard, how you changed the message, and the check and result.
Step-by-step description
- Pick one moment where the first message missed.
- Say what the other person was stuck on.
- Change content, order, detail or channel.
- Have them say the plan back, then state the result.
- The answer has four parts: a moment where the first message missed, what you heard, how you changed the message, and the check and result.
- Asking the other person to say the plan back is a way to check that the message got through.
Knowing it is half the job. Saying it is the other half.
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Start Free Trial →The Staff-level answer
The answer below is built from the four steps. The bracketed parts are slots for your own example, so treat it as a shape to fill, not a script to memorize.
How would you describe your interpersonal communication skills?
I treat communication as a loop, not a speech. First I listen and repeat back what I heard, in my own words, so the other person can correct me. Then I fit the message to them: a finance lead needs the cost and the date, an engineer needs the constraint. Then I check it got through by asking what they will do next. In [a handoff between two teams], my first explanation missed, so I [changed the format], confirmed the plan back, and [the result]. The cost is a few extra minutes up front; the benefit is fewer repeats later. I now end every handoff with that check.
What makes it Staff-level: it names what breaks (the first message missing), the cost of the fix (a few extra minutes), and ends with a change in how you work, not only a good outcome. The spoken structure is the loop in one sentence, then one moment, then what you heard, what you changed, how you checked, and the habit you kept.
The same question answered two ways follows. Both are illustrative composites, not real candidates.
At an illustrative speaking pace of 140 words per minute, the weak answer (30 words) takes about 13 seconds, the model answer (108 words) about 46 seconds and the strong sample (143 words) about 61 seconds; across paces of 120 to 160 words per minute the strong sample runs 54 to 72 seconds.1 The weak answer is short because it holds no evidence, and length alone is not the aim.
Text description of the diagram
- At an illustrative speaking pace of 140 words per minute, the weak answer takes about 13 seconds, the model answer about 46 seconds and the strong sample about 61 seconds.
- The weak answer is short because it holds no evidence.
Say your own version out loud once with a timer. If it runs past about 90 seconds, cut the setup, not the repair.
The rubric
This rubric is our own way to judge a practice answer; it is not any company's scoring sheet.
| Dimension | Weak answer | Strong answer | Staff answer |
|---|---|---|---|
| Specificity | Claims a trait: "I'm a people person." | One real moment with a named role on the other side. | A moment with real stakes and a stated gap between what you meant and what they heard. |
| Listening | "I listen carefully." | Says what the other person was stuck on. | Says how you confirmed the diagnosis by restating it. |
| Adapting | Repeats the same message louder or longer. | Changes detail, order or channel for this person. | Explains why that change fit this person and what you dropped. |
| Checking | Assumes it was clear. | Asks the other person to say the plan back. | Builds the check into how you work and names its cost. |
| Result | No result, or "it went well." | A concrete outcome, with a number only if it is real. | The outcome plus a change in your own habits that you still use. |
Three variants of this question
How would you describe your communication style?
Describe the loop, not an adjective: you listen first, fit the message to the person and check it got through. Add one short example of each part, and say how your style changes with the audience, since a style that never changes tends to miss some listeners.
Tell me about a time you explained something complicated to someone who was not an expert.
Use the same four steps, with the gap named as your vocabulary against theirs. Say what you cut, which example you chose, and how you checked that they could use it.
Tell me about a time a miscommunication caused a problem.
State your own part in the gap first, in one sentence. Then give the repair and the habit you changed; the repair is the part that shows the skill, not the blame.
Common mistakes
- "I'm a people person; I get along with everyone." (wrong) It is a claim with no evidence, and every candidate says it. (right) "In [a handoff], my first message missed, and here is what I changed."
- "I'm a clear speaker." (wrong) It covers only the sending half of the loop. (right) "I listen first, then fit the message to the person, then check it got through."
- "He was just impossible to talk to." (wrong) It puts the whole gap on the other person and hides your repair. (right) "My first explanation did not fit what they needed, so I changed it."
- "Then we all agreed and it went fine." (wrong) A story with no miss shows no skill. (right) "I confirmed the plan by asking them to say it back, and the repeat questions stopped."
- "Communication is the exchange of information between people." (wrong) A definition is not an example, and the question asks for yours. (right) One sentence of definition at most, then your moment.
Follow-up questions
What is the difference between interpersonal skills and interpersonal communication?
In common usage, interpersonal skills is the wider term for how you work with people, including conflict handling and teamwork, and interpersonal communication is the part about exchanging messages. Answer the communication part with the four steps and add the wider skills only if asked.
What would your last manager say about how you communicate?
Pick one habit a manager could observe, such as flagging a problem early, and back it with the moment from your answer. Do not invent praise; say what they could see you do. The common interview questions guide covers the neighboring "what would your colleagues say" style of question.
How can you improve your interpersonal communication skills?
Improve interpersonal communication by restating what the other person said before you reply, fitting each message to the listener, and asking them to say the plan back. Rehearse one story out loud until it fits in about a minute. The phone interview guide applies the same habits to a call, where you see fewer nonverbal reactions and so ask for them.
What are examples of interpersonal communication skills?
Examples are listening and restating, fitting a message to the person, asking a question to find a gap, and checking that a message got through. Choose one you can prove with a moment. If you are asked about a weak one, name a real, bounded skill and the habit you built around it; the greatest weakness guide shows the structure. You can end the interview by asking the team how it handles disagreement, using the questions to ask the interviewer.
Why is interpersonal communication important at work?
Almost every job is done with other people, and a message that misses costs rework. The NACE career readiness framework lists communication and teamwork among its competencies. Edmondson (1999) links team psychological safety to learning behavior such as asking for help and discussing errors, which is why checking matters. Without formal power, the same habits carry a request, as in influence without authority.
- Interpersonal communication is a two-way loop of sending, reading the reaction and adjusting.
- Answer with one real moment, not a trait: what you heard, what you changed, how you checked.
- The rubric line is a first message that missed, and what you did next.
- Ask the other person to say the plan back; this page's advice is to avoid relying on "is that clear?", which invites a polite yes.
- Keep the answer to about a minute of speaking and cut the setup before the repair.
Sources
- Career Readiness Competencies (eight competencies, including communication and teamwork) — National Association of Colleges and Employers (NACE), read October 2026, 26 Oct 2026
- 7.1 Principles of Interpersonal Communication, in Exploring Communication in the Real World — College of DuPage Pressbooks (adapted from University of Minnesota Libraries, 2016), 26 Oct 2026
- 1.2 The Communication Process, in Exploring Communication in the Real World — College of DuPage Pressbooks (adapted from University of Minnesota Libraries, 2016), 26 Oct 2026
- Psychological Safety and Learning Behavior in Work Teams — Administrative Science Quarterly (Edmondson), 1 Jun 1999
